As a therapist, I sit across countless couples who can’t seem to understand each other — stuck in the unwinnable game of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Unable to see what I see from my chair: that what they’re arguing about isn’t the thing they’re actually arguing about.
It’s not about the dishes — it’s about feeling unappreciated. It’s not about the sex — it’s about feeling disconnected. It’s not about the money — it’s about feeling controlled.
Because at the core of all these conflicts is something else, a deeper layer that isn’t being communicated. A deeper need that isn’t being met. And if I’m being honest, we don’t always have access to that part of ourselves or our partners. We don’t always understand the motivation behind the request.
As distant as a couples therapy session can seem from a marketing campaign, on some level, they’re both trying to solve a problem. The tendency, though, is to focus on the visible issue. For my clients, it’s the pile of dirty plates in the sink. For marketers, it’s the data, the metrics, the sales.
But below that lies the key, because it’s rarely what we’re doing that matters most but why we’re doing it. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we want and need the things we do?
In therapy, that’s where the real insight lives. In marketing, it’s often where the real opportunity does too. Because even when we don’t know what we really need, our brains still follow subtle, predictable patterns — guided by hardwired mental shortcuts, emotional biases, and environmental cues that quietly shape our choices. And that’s where behavioral economics steps in, bridging these seemingly separate worlds that are both rooted in basic human behavior.
What Is Behavioral Economics
Most of us like to think we’re rational and logical when it comes to making decisions, that from the most trivial purchase of a pair of shoes to one of the biggest choices of our lives, like choosing a partner, we act rationally.
But behavioral economics challenges that assumption. It studies the often surprising, irrational, and emotional ways we behave. It explores the emotional side of decision-making — our preference for what’s known and familiar, our aversion to change and our hardwired predisposition to avoid loss — all of which often occur outside of our awareness.
For example, imagine you’ve been on the hunt for a new laptop. You’ve done your research and decided the new MacBook is the perfect fit. You’re ready to take the plunge and make your way to the Apple Store. But as you’re about to pay, the cashier tells you their system is down and they can only take cash payments.
You have the money in your account, you could get the cash, but the process makes you hesitate. It makes you question the purchase altogether. In theory, it shouldn’t matter. You have the funds. But the simple act of paying with a card or tapping your phone makes the transaction feel less painful.
In behavioral economics, this is known as the cashless effect, our tendency to spend more freely when no physical money changes hands. And these kinds of unconscious calculations are happening all the time, influencing everything from pricing, positioning, and design to branding and user experience.
Because just like my couples aren’t really giving each other the silent treatment over that midnight Amazon purchase, buyers aren’t choosing one handbag over another just because of how many compartments it has. There’s always more to the decision than meets the eye.
In other words, behavioral economics gives marketers the same edge that therapy gives couples: a framework for understanding the hidden emotional logic behind our choices. It doesn’t just explain behavior, it helps predict it. And once we can predict behavior, we can translate those insights into marketing tools that move people from awareness into action.
The Four Movers
In a recent Forbes article, marketing expert Sarah Procopio highlights four behavioral triggers that drive us to engage, interact, and move, in one direction or another.
Intensity: Our brains are wired to focus on what’s urgent and emotionally charged. We respond to immediacy, from a limited-time offer to a timely cause or message. Emotionally intense visuals and copy interrupt our flow and pull our attention to what feels relevant now.
Immersion: Our brains are story-making machines. We crave beginnings, middles, and ends. When a brand weaves a compelling narrative, we don’t just observe, we participate. Immersive storytelling makes us feel like part of something bigger, keeping us engaged and wanting more.
Intrigue: We’re also motivated by curiosity. When a message opens a thought loop without immediately closing it, when it drops subtle clues or raises a question, it pulls us in. The little easter eggs, the hints of mystery moves us from passive to engaged.
Inclusion: Of all human needs, belonging is one of the strongest motivators. When we feel seen, heard, and understood—when a brand reflects our identity, values, and aspirations—we lean in. Connection fosters loyalty.
Marketing Through a Relational Mapping™ Lens
To take an emotionally intelligent approach to marketing, we can start with something simple: imagining the customer sitting right beside us. It’s a practice we call The Open Chair Technique.
Rooted in Gestalt therapy’s “empty chair” exercise — which helps explore and deepen awareness of relationships — the open chair helps us understand the emotional landscape of our clients and their customers.
The exercise asks us to imagine our customer sitting beside us — offering the emotionally connected insights we need to understand the why behind their decisions. It’s a simple, low-cost way to access emotional insight without the overhead of surveys or focus groups. More than anything, it helps marketers look at the human behind the data.
Because whether it’s in a therapy room or a strategy session, the goal is the same: to listen closely enough to understand what people truly need, not just what they say they want.
Putting It Into Practice
So how do you actually apply this? Start by asking the kind of questions a therapist would:
What does my customer feel when they interact with our brand?
What unspoken needs are driving their choices?
What pain point are they really trying to solve and what emotion sits underneath it?
From there, go back to the movers and begin mapping your strategy through that emotional lens.
Build intensity by making people feel something right now. Think: anchoring your message in a relevant cultural moment or emotional trigger that demands attention — not just listing features.
Create immersion by telling a story your audience wants to step into. Think: building campaigns with narrative arcs — showing transformation, progress, or behind-the-scenes moments that invite people into your process rather than just the final product.
Spark intrigue with curiosity gaps that invite participation. Think: teasing a reveal, asking a provocative question, or using a visual that leaves a gap — one that makes the audience lean in to find the answer.
Foster inclusion by creating a sense of belonging. Think: using language, imagery, and representation that mirror your audience’s values and lived experiences, signaling that they’re part of the community you’re building.
Ultimately, behavioral economics doesn’t just help us understand decisions, it helps us design for them. When marketing becomes relational, we stop talking at our audience and start connecting with them. Real influence begins there, in attunement and empathy, not in strategy decks. Because beneath every click, metric, and conversion is a person — trying to feel seen, understood, and moved.
About the Author:
Maria G. Sosa, LMFT is a licensed therapist and Senior Advisor of Behavioral Science at Lineout Media. You can read more of her writing by subscribing to her Substack.